To Myself (Value of Life)

Entry of my diary dated 23/08/13..

Dear Munirah,
Your value is not depending of how much they pay you every month,
Your value is not by comparing what other people have or how much they get paid.

Your value is

What is inside of you,

Your value is your strength,

Your value is to tell the world that it is ok to get up again to fight,

Your value is to keep smiling eventhough you are afraid, even when you are sad, or even when you dont feel like doing anything...

Your value is to keep moving forward after falling so many times...

And your greatest value is to keep fighting & nevet give up..Because in the end, you are the highest value of people in this world, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

Love,
Me myself and I ^_^

Death

Death..

One day we will meet..

Last Sunday,It was a shock and sad news..we are not close but we acknowledged each other. Everyday the greeting was just a head gesture & small nod..that was only it.Yet, when the news come..I feel the sadness.

I wonder about our last encounter.Will it be different it I say more words? Will it be different if I smile a little more often?

Those thought, those questions linger in me when I sat there in the corner of the mosque overlooking at the non moving body.

What if that is me? I ask myself..
What if I need to leave tomorrow?
Will I have a regret?

What that I'm most afraid at..I realised is not just that I leave this world unprepared,  but I'm afraid of all the things that I want to do, and I want to say,that is left undone.

When I look at him, to be gone in such a young age, I realised that all feelings that I'm afraid of,is just a dust. If tomorrow I'm going to leave..at least I want people to say that she lives happily and wholeheartedly. ..by all means if it is the way, may Allah show the light & may Allah also bring the true guidance for me till Jannah, insyaallah..

Over The Cloud

I feel like there is a cloud on my head.
Hovering circling ...
And there...
I know what it is in my heart, the reasons of something that makes me feel scared of tomorrow.
Afraid of doing anything, afraid of the results that it can be.

30 years old.married before dating. Having children and to be 40.
Old.Die.Young.

Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone like me.

Ok.maybe not.
Are you even real? 

Girls who at 30 and never date anyone are from Pluto really.

Sigh.

Ok.So I want to change.
I am a change person.So what?
Everyone else is married.
See the thing is only fish and cat are not married yet.
DANG.

Lol..pffttttt... Then are those people who are not like me really happy??
Those that is Married before 30.Have kids.Have someone to have anniversary with. Those people.Are you happy?

They say be thankful.

I do.
That is why you read this.
That is why I write this.
Because if I'm not thankful, I will not feel anything.
Because I'm human being I want something more.

Because as I try hard in life, sometimes I cry and see the moon and skies above and ask why?

I want a rainbow.I want sunshine.. But the cloud is so dark, I need a thunder and a little bit of rain!!

#101cloudrant end.

Dreams Do Come True

If you dream enough
If you are brave enough
If you are persistent enough
To take all the action
To trust your heart

Dreams do come true.....

Have you ever told strangers about your dream? Have you ever think about what if you have everything in life to make your dreams come true? ?

I was not in the position to understand the feeling until I did the exercise on Les Brown seminar last week. So much I feel that it is easy to open your heart to tell the world your stories...

The most amazing thing is you will find that there are somebody out there who actually have the same dream with you...

Life I guess is to take action...as much as others didn't believe that what Im going to do..I have the doubt too. I told myself its now or never...I need to stop the 'What if' thinking could have been..I decide to let the words out.

And I'm glad I did ♥

Im proud that I was brave..and most importantly...I feel different. ......
Those who never had known me said they were inspired ...that I moved their heart..that I was precious. ..something somehow as much I told myself that I was important in this world to have others to said it was amazing super kind of weird feeling....and I, Munirah Mohd Khadri is super happy

Xoxo

My question book of life ^^

My answer;

Life is doing something with purpose;
Happiness is doing something you love;
Love is unconditioned;
Trust is believing;
Matter is deep in our heart;
Kind is helpful;
Courage is believing your destiny ♡♡

My story

Its kinda the theme of the week..what is your story. .what is the story you want to share to the world..

Hearing the speaker talk about it in front of the stage. I wish to speak up, but then I don't.

I guess I will have to share the story in my heart firstly here. 

A story about the girl who is different from the others. While the doctor said it's one in a million, she didn't believe it. It's a mistake she tell herself..something should have been done years ago. A answer she try to find soon was a question of her self belief.

If we could have more money we could treat it..They say you will be okay. Nothing will changed.

For all the above reasons they want her to believe,  the more she found its hard to accept all the consequences of life. 

No one tells her to be strong..

No one tells her its the reason of the disabilities that will make her special..

In everyday of life, the insult, the laugh..and the mirror was her world.

The promise she made was' I will never take a picture as I hate how people will laugh at me, I made the pictures looks weird'

' I can't see people in their eyes,  it hurts when they asked back why I was different'

'I can't get married because I hate people looking at my eyes and taking a picture of myself'

Living everyday with the kind of thoughts..not in a second she wish god will take her away..

In the moment of truth, she wonder the reason she's still here. What is the purpose of my life?? she asked everyday..Do I need to do something??

 It was hard with tears and self talk as a her companion. .sometimes the tears falls like the raindrops without a warning....

LifE they say is a mystery. .the age was the savior..While looking back, at the times of life., she notice how she is different from the others. How she had achieved more than what the other normal people had done. It was not the best but it was more for people to envy.It could be better. 

And so the story begins...at the second part of life. This is the starting point of her story. To live with full of hope, happiness and courage. To make mistakes.To learn to let it go. To be true to herself. To look forward for the dreams. To just sit and smile and be happy. 

A promise if ever god finally want to take her away, she want to be happy at that moment of time.Leave a great life to be remembered.  

And that is the story of her and the story of me..

Xoxo

Munirah Khadri

Loving life ♥♥
Pic from Pinterest~Beach Living & Waves

June

June was weird. .

For something I didn't know how to make it happen, it turns out to be such an achievement. .

But that's in the area which I have known how to do it,
How to reach, run and hold it..

And now, here in the last day of June, I wonder about the things that I want it to be..things that I want to feel..things that I want to experience. .

How can I make it really true in this reality?

 In that sense of the real positive thinking, I told myself that I can, I must and I will..
Will LOVE be here by the same way??  Can I really be the person I want to be??? Love, greatness,  Happiness...please be here..please come here..please let it stay in my heart ♥