Should I???

Mix feeling really. I ask everyone. No one ask me to do what makes me happy. They ask me to think about the worst case that can happen. So I did what I did the best. Write it all out. And so I put it in the wall and I know the answer. It was all in my heart all the time. The main question is, Could I achieve my dreams if I stay? 

And if I go, can it become better than now? Do I believe it? YES!!

Do I know how to do it? No. But deep in my heart I need to do this.

What if my life end tomorrow? It will kill me coz I know Im not listening to my heart all along. Was I just being the best now,shows the best that I could be? What is life and love if its all being told to do what others want you to do?

At the end of the day, what will be the diffrence in  my life if I stay to do the same thing, at the same place.

Life is to give, life is to have fun, Live to be happy ^_^

Xoxo-Munirah #decahaya

Random of Heart

Random post as this was not prepared in my diary. The first one where I guess I just want say something.

Do you feel that sometimes the world go around so fast that you feel that life just walk by??huhu..I do..it was weird and somehow it makes me angry.

Angry to myself more than the others. So many feelings in the heart. One you just realised, that the more days passed,you are getting older. The number was not a problem. But the goals that have not been achieved do get my head down a little.

Wonder if there are people actually reading this, or actually Im not sure myself. Sometimes I wonder if I do the right thing..sometimes I wonder if I should do other things..then for some reasons I wonder if I was alone in doing this. So much feelings....

And then I also read my post about why I want to be rich..and then I sigh. and I pray. There is so much things I want to do in this world. So many..but now feels that I have so little time and money. I feel restless. But I know that I need to do this. I need to..I dont knw the final answers or the final result,but I need to work forward.

I need to look further upward. I need to pray more. I need to work more. This is hard. This is sometimes feels so lonely. But I need to do it. I want to be rich. Not that I want the money to have millions..but I want to be rich so that I dont have to work until I become old.

At the end of the day,me,Munirah Khadri, want to be rich,want to experience everything in this world before I died. Before that someone's word becomes true. That one day I will become a blind person. Even when I do become blind,I want to tell myself that don't bother, you have do everything that you can,you have seen everything that you want. Chin up. Don't bother. You have work hard.

And because of that, I will not give up. I will not going to say no as option. I will work hard. I will do everything that it takes. I will do everything that I need to be. I will do everything that I want to be. That I myself will not give up. Ya allah ya rahman ya rahim...may you ease the pain in my heart right now...may you show me the way,the right one..that maybe in the end of my day, I will leave peacefully and I will be there in jannah ..that in the end of the day, someone in this world will says that I change their lives to be better #pray #heart #smile #happines #endoflife 

Xoxo  ....munirahkhadri

2014 My Goal ~~

I wrote this on my birthday...at first thought, I kinda felt overwhelmed, in one way,I want to have so many things, and the other half in my mind is asking whether this is achievable. So I guess the rules is to write as much as you can in 10 minutes and write everything in your head without ever thinking everything...so I wrote this on my diary :)

- Earn $100k in a month
- Have $100k in Tabung Haji
- Have $200k in ASB
-Buy a bungalow house at Damansara at $5mil
-Date, Married, Babies lol
-Go to Paris
-Go to Spain
-Go to Turkey
-Go travel around the world
-------------and after a good 5 minutes scratching my head to write more things, I ended up with my crazy long list lol

2014 will be the year where, I;
-Go crazy
-Go spontaneous
-Go and be brave
-Go and do stupid things
-Go and like a person
-Go and see the world
-Go write something
-Go and see the beautiful clouds
-Go and do crazy things
-Go and have lots of money
-Go and be happy
-Go and make other people happy
-Go and do something
-Go and see the world
-Go go go go do it!!!!!

Pffftttt..haha ..reading it make me smile ^_^, it was not the best goal setting ever, yeah with all that s.m.a.r.t thing, but anyways I love it..it need to be more specific but I will take it as my guidelines for everything comes in 2014! :) ...ohhh and I super like the quote I found below..to have courage in your heart to understand the unthinkable :)

Why I Love To Travel

I love to travel because ..............

I love to see the outside world. 

I love to be lost in the thought how the world works.

I love to travel because .............

I love how at the end of my questions of life and my amazement with human being, at the end of the day, all of us is the same. 

All of us need the same things. 

All of us smile, laugh and cry under the same moon and sun.

I love to travel because......

I get to meet the new people who never judge me before. The kind of people who was intrigue by your existence without looking at your mistakes.

I love to travel because...... its just it is..

I love that sometimes I get lost in the journey eventhough I had plan everything before hand.

I love that sometimes I have to find my own way home and there,I will meet a great helpful human being. At the end of the day, I will put a faith in my heart that I will definitely find my way home. 

And that is how life is all about. 

You travel to understand the way to go back.

You travel to understand the faces of people at home.

You travel to understand that in life, how hard it makes you, at the end of the day, with much courage and belief, you will find your way home of love, happiness and the reason that you want to be allowed to live your life.

And that is why I love to travel <3

#Canada....my biggest,amazing 8 months travel experience ever !!! ^_^..so amazing it change my whole life around :)

To Myself (Value of Life)

Entry of my diary dated 23/08/13..

Dear Munirah,
Your value is not depending of how much they pay you every month,
Your value is not by comparing what other people have or how much they get paid.

Your value is

What is inside of you,

Your value is your strength,

Your value is to tell the world that it is ok to get up again to fight,

Your value is to keep smiling eventhough you are afraid, even when you are sad, or even when you dont feel like doing anything...

Your value is to keep moving forward after falling so many times...

And your greatest value is to keep fighting & nevet give up..Because in the end, you are the highest value of people in this world, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

Love,
Me myself and I ^_^

Over The Cloud

I feel like there is a cloud on my head.
Hovering circling ...
And there...
I know what it is in my heart, the reasons of something that makes me feel scared of tomorrow.
Afraid of doing anything, afraid of the results that it can be.

30 years old.married before dating. Having children and to be 40.
Old.Die.Young.

Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone like me.

Ok.maybe not.
Are you even real? 

Girls who at 30 and never date anyone are from Pluto really.

Sigh.

Ok.So I want to change.
I am a change person.So what?
Everyone else is married.
See the thing is only fish and cat are not married yet.
DANG.

Lol..pffttttt... Then are those people who are not like me really happy??
Those that is Married before 30.Have kids.Have someone to have anniversary with. Those people.Are you happy?

They say be thankful.

I do.
That is why you read this.
That is why I write this.
Because if I'm not thankful, I will not feel anything.
Because I'm human being I want something more.

Because as I try hard in life, sometimes I cry and see the moon and skies above and ask why?

I want a rainbow.I want sunshine.. But the cloud is so dark, I need a thunder and a little bit of rain!!

#101cloudrant end.

Dreams Do Come True

If you dream enough
If you are brave enough
If you are persistent enough
To take all the action
To trust your heart

Dreams do come true.....

Have you ever told strangers about your dream? Have you ever think about what if you have everything in life to make your dreams come true? ?

I was not in the position to understand the feeling until I did the exercise on Les Brown seminar last week. So much I feel that it is easy to open your heart to tell the world your stories...

The most amazing thing is you will find that there are somebody out there who actually have the same dream with you...

Life I guess is to take action...as much as others didn't believe that what Im going to do..I have the doubt too. I told myself its now or never...I need to stop the 'What if' thinking could have been..I decide to let the words out.

And I'm glad I did ♥

Im proud that I was brave..and most importantly...I feel different. ......
Those who never had known me said they were inspired ...that I moved their heart..that I was precious. ..something somehow as much I told myself that I was important in this world to have others to said it was amazing super kind of weird feeling....and I, Munirah Mohd Khadri is super happy

Xoxo

My question book of life ^^

My answer;

Life is doing something with purpose;
Happiness is doing something you love;
Love is unconditioned;
Trust is believing;
Matter is deep in our heart;
Kind is helpful;
Courage is believing your destiny ♡♡

My story

Its kinda the theme of the week..what is your story. .what is the story you want to share to the world..

Hearing the speaker talk about it in front of the stage. I wish to speak up, but then I don't.

I guess I will have to share the story in my heart firstly here. 

A story about the girl who is different from the others. While the doctor said it's one in a million, she didn't believe it. It's a mistake she tell herself..something should have been done years ago. A answer she try to find soon was a question of her self belief.

If we could have more money we could treat it..They say you will be okay. Nothing will changed.

For all the above reasons they want her to believe,  the more she found its hard to accept all the consequences of life. 

No one tells her to be strong..

No one tells her its the reason of the disabilities that will make her special..

In everyday of life, the insult, the laugh..and the mirror was her world.

The promise she made was' I will never take a picture as I hate how people will laugh at me, I made the pictures looks weird'

' I can't see people in their eyes,  it hurts when they asked back why I was different'

'I can't get married because I hate people looking at my eyes and taking a picture of myself'

Living everyday with the kind of thoughts..not in a second she wish god will take her away..

In the moment of truth, she wonder the reason she's still here. What is the purpose of my life?? she asked everyday..Do I need to do something??

 It was hard with tears and self talk as a her companion. .sometimes the tears falls like the raindrops without a warning....

LifE they say is a mystery. .the age was the savior..While looking back, at the times of life., she notice how she is different from the others. How she had achieved more than what the other normal people had done. It was not the best but it was more for people to envy.It could be better. 

And so the story begins...at the second part of life. This is the starting point of her story. To live with full of hope, happiness and courage. To make mistakes.To learn to let it go. To be true to herself. To look forward for the dreams. To just sit and smile and be happy. 

A promise if ever god finally want to take her away, she want to be happy at that moment of time.Leave a great life to be remembered.  

And that is the story of her and the story of me..

Xoxo

Munirah Khadri

Loving life ♥♥
Pic from Pinterest~Beach Living & Waves

June

June was weird. .

For something I didn't know how to make it happen, it turns out to be such an achievement. .

But that's in the area which I have known how to do it,
How to reach, run and hold it..

And now, here in the last day of June, I wonder about the things that I want it to be..things that I want to feel..things that I want to experience. .

How can I make it really true in this reality?

 In that sense of the real positive thinking, I told myself that I can, I must and I will..
Will LOVE be here by the same way??  Can I really be the person I want to be??? Love, greatness,  Happiness...please be here..please come here..please let it stay in my heart ♥

I WANT...

30 things I want to do before I turn 30

So there was this list that I wrote probably on Dec 2012 /Jan, 2013...

Untuk mengingatkan saya bahawa saya akan menghampiri usia itu, Lol

And to remind myself that its celebration of all things that I want to accomplish on this year..

So here is the list originally..

1) Travel to Canada

2) Travel to Mekah

3) Do bungee jumping in Australia

4) Visit Hobbit in New Zealand

5) Talk in front of 1000 people

6) Ride hot air ballon

7) Go to Korea to meet JYJ

8) Volkswagen GTI

9) Money -Earn, Save , Invest, {$15k after tax, $500k in ASB, 2 properties)

10) Burberry bag

11) Take potrait picture with family and friends

12)...

13)....

14)....

..

...

...

30)

Yes, that is all in the list...
I did not finish it until now, and its already May 2013..
With the coming of June, I only have another 6 months to look back, to think, and to ask my heart with all those questions again...

Also in my diary, I wrote~To walk through life or to walk with life;  going back or to starts a new beginning ...

What actually did I achieve in this 5 month? ???

1) Travel to Seoul
●●The initial plan was really to go Mekah, tapi apakan daya, with all the new visa rule, terpaksa tarik diri..hv to let it pass for now..so the funny thing abt my seoul trip, it just so randomly that a good friend is going and I was there with cash..my thinking was  since I already plan to travel,  what the heck, just use it and travel anyway..And I'm glad I did it.
•• Never been to Seoul before, but I was just so excited that I did the research to the places that I wanted to go, how to go there, how much is the cost etc etc..Yeah...it was the trip whereby the Travel Planner inside of me was born :)
2) Paragliding
3) See myself on tv for 2 seconds :), I miss You korean drama commercial
4) House.Puchong.1000sq feet. (In process)
5) Job.Assistant Manager.Wage Increase.[well like others, my 1st thought, where did that come from?? :) ]
6) ASB~nope..I dont think it will grow as much I dream it to be,  but I'm going to make it RMxxxk. If god willing :)
7) Decahaya Travel
8) The Smile Within.Accidentally Perfect.♥♥♥

Yup,so that was it..Just 8. A small one..not even half of 30!!....

But after so much thought and self talk, I don't think it was a bad number...

See, when you decide for a goal, dream or target, you need to take action.And when you see the results, something inside have change to make it happen..

For me , there was a little bit of sadness when I know some of the thing might never happen, but I'm happy at least 1% of me were nearer to that dream than before..the best part of all this, was when random people told me that I look different or I look happier :), or with question,  What happen to you??..it was a defining moment for me to realised that I, Munirah Mohd Khadri are better than the person I used to be..

I might not the perfect person I want to be.
I might not be the richest girl yet.
I might be imperfect to be blind in one eye..but I will never make myself down again. I was braver, have more confident to talk and to see others with eye to eye..

With a promise I had made for myself to search the happiness around me and to appreciate life...So let us together dream of our dream..let us play with our imaginations :) , For this coming months,I actually have written what I want to do!! hoping to write it down here soon!! And I hope I will get some inspiration from the above and from people around me too...

Be safe and keep smiling :)

Accidentally Perfect

So I changed the title of this blog from seeing the world in half blind to Accidentally Perfect, just because....

I want to change my life..I know my life has changed..not yet to where I want it to be, but it's moving to the direction of my dreams. .

Love..money ..hope..

What is the matter most, instead thinking that life is unfair,  I will believe that I was here for a reason. .it was not perfect because of my circumstances,  but I will make it accidentally perfect :), because destiny have a reason..to live and to be happy. .

My Note of Life in A Day

What I've written in my diary.......

19042013

It's hard, it ain't easy..
I don't feel right..
I'm not happy...
I feel tired....
I can't fake my smile..
I don't want to speak with anyone..
I feel everything is so far away..


Dear Munirah,

To say that the world is great and forever happiness in life is under statement..
It is a good day..
As you have tried...

You try to see the diffrent views of the difficult things in life..
You try to laugh even its hard..
You try to talk even you want to cry..
You try to smile even though it's hurt so much..

For all that matters, that you believe, in future that all you want is happiness..

I want to be happy, I want to achieve all my dreams, and for that , congratulations on making through the day..

Xoxo,

My dear self :)

A seconds could change the course of life :)

When a decision in seconds to try a new things, change a whole new perspective of life..

It starts with my 'why not' motto..or what the h**l anyways, just do it..

Then you try to be different,

To try to take the extra effort..

After the whole process, you feel so special and wants to reward you own self..

I never thought that in seconds I told myself  'What the h**l!!" just say it.

I still remember, how I told the crew, I want to do it..and the sheer jumpiness of my friends face as if saying:Are you sureeee?? Are you crazy??..and I remember I told myself, just do it..just say yes!!

And I'm glad I did not back out..I did not hesitate..I did not say I give up..

Because at the end, even it is only for a second, I was not the same person anymore....

Because I was now the girl who makes the decision to be different, to be bold, to let it go, to understand that its cool to be different and be crazy sometimes and the most important thing is.......

I HAVE BECOME THE PERSON WHO FINALLY LISTEN TO HER OWN GUT...

^___________________^

Its funny, its life..it might not be perfect, but it feels so good!!

So here, kudos to myself, to the new me, to the decision I make

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRrjwOvDl1k

How life change and how you can change the world

I find it is weird to be back to the old place.

The place that where I start everything..

The place that you believe can makes dream come true, then one fine day you make mistakes,

For them,you did not try hard enough,

For them it is so embarrassing, to say that I was one of their family..

So I gather all my strength to walk, to get up and to look in the sky again..

It was not a small journey..

It was full of telling myself that everything will be okay..

I gather my will to smile, and to believe, that the world is not the end,

For someday, it will be rainbow all over again....

For all the memories I made, I was ask to come back...

To pretend that it never happen, it was just a memory..

To someone, it was just something you get over with

For me, it was a learning to get up,to tell my heart to believe, that one day, it was not about me, 

It was about my courage, to believe that for someone who is half blind, the world is such a happy place to lives in, and for that I will keep moving, 

I will keep believing that the world will gives everything that I dream to be in this small world I live in :) Insyallah

 

My 1st Paragliding Experience!!!

Alhamdullillah I come back in pieces, lol..

It was a crazy idea and I only bought 1 coupon from groupon, since I'm not sure whether there will anyone who will do it together with me..

Thank god, Wai Yien were ready to be part of my weird 'must do' list of things before I turn 30 years old :)

So we took KESAS, to Pelabuhan Klang and were quite OK as we had our GPS set from the coordinate given..but after some 15 mins into the kampung area, we were led to dead end road twice!! In the end, we just go with our gut to find the place and yeah, next time really need a 4 wheel drive as you will encounter unpaved road, as I guess it was for all the big trucks around there..

We arrived around 11 am..and there is already group of 6 people comes ahead of us, and so we spend like 2 hours under the tree in the middle of random place in Pulau Indah..hoho

Excited for our turn!!

Fly!!! Fly!! Fly!!

can u see me??

Flying High!!

 So basically you will be flying for around 10 to 15 mins depending on the wind condition. 

 It was different view altogether when you were below seeing it flying up in the sky, and then be the one sitting in the seat.

Was it scary, Yes!!! When the guy told me to put my seatbelt and my helmet on, I was like that's it?? What if  this thing fall down, how I can come back alive? What if we fall into the sea, how I can save myself if there is emergency, lol..yeah, that is so many thought in my 1st 5 mins up flying in the sky..that I just hold tightly the side bar beside me while recite all the doa that I know, but after a while, you could really feel the beauty of it. 

The beauty of the wind on your face, the beauty looking at the birds flying in front of you and looking at those things below and wonder that they really look so small...and for me I guess, there is never ending beauty of this earth that will make me wonder the creation of God, and for me, the feeling was serene? liberated? That to everything is so small from up the sky, I wonder should I see my problem as what I learn from today, you were not alone,That the world is so vast and full of places and hope.That at the end of the day, our problem is  so small to compare the beauty of this earth <3 ..

By the end of our 10 mins, we really thought it was so short..but I guess it was really a good experience..

Will I do it next time?? Yes!! probably I will do it at different place like the video below...woohoo..

And since we don"t really take our breakfast, so we head on to our 2nd plan of the day to Empire Mall to celebrate belated lunch for the birthday girl.. Ole-ole Bali..

Us sitting outside eventhough its so hot, with my reason I want to take pictures!! ^^

my food!!!..with banana shake..so yummy

WY choice of ayam panggang and barley lime

Yes, we finish everything since we were so hungry and one part of me was because of the price is in the group of, alang2 dah order mahal,jangan membazir, haha..but its really good..and I'm now writing this 7 hour after and still I feel so full!! we go back right after, that we don't bother to walk around the shopping mall, because we were so tired, even though it was our first time there..

So there it goes an update of one of my to do list before I turn 30 ^______^, should head up and write about my Seoul trip before my 'amnesia' kicks in :)

My Dream...or should I start dreaming?

You know when you're young, people will tell you to write what you want to do in life, what is your goal when you grow up, what you want to be in future...

So with a good heart, you took your diary and start scribbling away your thoughts and dreams in the most grandest way that you can imagine, believing that somehow for tiniest percentage in the law of universe, the dreams will come true...

So what happens when one of your dreams come true?? What you gonna do? Write in a new dream??From buying a Myvi to Vios, then to BMW?..

For most people, when we are young, our dreams was  to get a good job,buy a car and house,open your life savings account, insurance and for some lucky people falls in love with a great guy/girl  and get married, settled down..

For me, at this young age of life (29 years old) , I practically have most of what I want or should I say what I have written down when I'm 21 years old... Car, stable job, savings, which actually if I calculate correctly, can let me survived 2 years with my current lifestyle..

So what should I do from here?

My self questioning mode now: I really want to buy a house, have my own room, my own walking closet, my own shoes rack, but the questions that they have been bugging me is :Why?? Why I want this? What other things that I want to own? And somehow I realized, to really achieve your dreams, there is something inside that need to change..I can't live believing that is all I wanted..somehow inside, I believe that there is greater things I need to do in life..the one that I need to let my heart search for an answer..