Half year battle, half day moved on

Writing this om 17th July 2016.

Looking back at my life. Looking back at my age.

One of these days, or exactly 3 days ago, I spend most of the days sleeping or just wondering my thoughts. What am I doing right now? Am I doing the right thing?

Am I a good person? Am I doing the best that I should? Why I'm feeling lonely? Why I can't just say what I want? 

Why I need to pretend?

And I guess the same questions coming back to me again. Am I doing the right thing?

I wish someone can let me know. I wish I know how to live my life

I wish I know all the answers.

Like they said. Find a mentor. 

Of course, I've been thinking it so much. And the same questions come back to me. Am I doing rhe right thing?

Lonely. And they say talk to Allah. I know. And I know I'm not the best muslims out there. And I'm still trying. And the same questions come back to me. Why me? Why cant you just show me the way. What I'm supposed to do in my life right now?

I'm writing this post not because I want to admit my defeat. Or tired. I guess this was a phasing on time that I have. 

A lot of time I wonder. What I'm doing or whether it is a right thing to do. Most of the time I need to pretend to be happy, to be motivated and to be strong. And people expect you to. And I expect myself to be better.

I'm not sure if I can be 'better' to some person. But I do know I'm trying to be a better person to me. And so, dear Munirah. Please be happy. Please hang on..everything will be allright. Please be patient. Please let it go. Please be stronger. Please, I hope in year future when you read this whole thing, just realised you just finish one of the chapter of your own. 

#bestrong #behappy. And to everyone who struggle out there, #bestrong and #behappy too. 

Life will be better..

Xox ;)) ;))) ;)))

munirahkhadri

Time passes no one

19th May 2016.

I will be heading to 33 soon.

Funny and weird how sometimes I think or maybe I feel that I'm not old. I'm not going anywhere. Then the reality sinks in when the cousins, which you used to play with, hold and just be angry with now working, go to schools and now getting married.

It's not I feel bad that I'm going old. But somehow I feel the weirdness. I feel that my time will come soon. The death. The move on . The phase.

Looking back at my life before I hit 30, I thought I have achieved everything. The job, the house, the car. And somehow after I hit 30, I realised my life is no longer sprited and feels less colourful than before.

Dear Munirah,

Please be strong. Please be happy. Please moved on. Please be courageous.

Dear Munirah,

You will achieve what you desire. Be brave. Be happy. Be diffrent. Be motivated. Be strong. Be willing to sacrifice. Be willing to be near to Allah. Be positive. Be thankful. Be open to any possibilities. Be whatever you want. Be a giver. Be someone that is important to society. Be someone that can change the environment. Be someone that can bring the greatness to nature.

Dear Munirah

Be brave. Dont give up. Percaya dengan allah. Percaya dengan takdirNya. Believe.

Xox,

Munirah Khadri

Should I???

Mix feeling really. I ask everyone. No one ask me to do what makes me happy. They ask me to think about the worst case that can happen. So I did what I did the best. Write it all out. And so I put it in the wall and I know the answer. It was all in my heart all the time. The main question is, Could I achieve my dreams if I stay? 

And if I go, can it become better than now? Do I believe it? YES!!

Do I know how to do it? No. But deep in my heart I need to do this.

What if my life end tomorrow? It will kill me coz I know Im not listening to my heart all along. Was I just being the best now,shows the best that I could be? What is life and love if its all being told to do what others want you to do?

At the end of the day, what will be the diffrence in  my life if I stay to do the same thing, at the same place.

Life is to give, life is to have fun, Live to be happy ^_^

Xoxo-Munirah #decahaya

My Note of Life in A Day

What I've written in my diary.......

19042013

It's hard, it ain't easy..
I don't feel right..
I'm not happy...
I feel tired....
I can't fake my smile..
I don't want to speak with anyone..
I feel everything is so far away..


Dear Munirah,

To say that the world is great and forever happiness in life is under statement..
It is a good day..
As you have tried...

You try to see the diffrent views of the difficult things in life..
You try to laugh even its hard..
You try to talk even you want to cry..
You try to smile even though it's hurt so much..

For all that matters, that you believe, in future that all you want is happiness..

I want to be happy, I want to achieve all my dreams, and for that , congratulations on making through the day..

Xoxo,

My dear self :)