Life as What It is 2021 (September) ...and now October

Everyone coming back.... Posting as if life is back like the old days.\\

I'm here looking at whether my life has changes to be better

to do what, to make the life seems the best out of me

happiness...not looking back.

To be the best, to be better human being.

The best of me. The happiness in me.

Lets go to the moon and back

Not to be afraid

Let it go

To dear me. Think of the happy things. What you want to achieve. In this world would you be the best & try your best. 

YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD TO BE BETTER......believe...eventho lifes seems not changing anything....

you are you, changing the reason to live...xoxo

Life in March

What I did during the lockdown?

Seriously I am not sure whether I'm doing the right thing, or whether I should proceed doing things I always do...

Life feels going around in circles..feels like I'm numb.

Should I do this or should I do that?

Yesterday I told myself to take just take one day at a time.

What could that be. Breathe. Sleep. Thank my blessings. Count my heartbeat.

Looking forward, looking inside. What did I have?

What can I give? 

Will I live again??

xoxo

36 going to 30..letter on 27/12/19

Dear Munirah...its seems so easy to gain anything when you are younger. Or maybe before you turns 31.

35. I thought everything going where I want to be.

35. I thought I will be alright.

35. I thought everything will be easy.

Its been 1 year plus I know about it. And I wonder why Im still have it at back of my mind. I put yourself as a stranger of family. I know you but I never know who you are.

Am I weird? Am I the only who being forgotten like this?

35. Sometimes you want to die. You wake up and asks yourself what god wants you to do. Sometimes I wonder why there is no instructions to do about it everyday.

You wake up ..and times goes by.

35. You are writing this in Puchong, at the small place you pay RM120 monthly while looking at others. And looking at yourself wondering you do the right thing.

35. And I still wonder Im doing the right thing everyday, every time, every night before I goes to sleep.

35. Can you hold it? Can you go forward?

35. I just want to have food to eat everyday, money to spend every night, travel where I want to be.

35. Sometimes I want to run away. Sometimes I cried.

35. I'm still here. You will be ok. Going 36 tomorrow. Goodbye 35. Hold on 36. You will be alright. Keep going. Cry. Hold on. Happy Birthday to yourself. Love&Life xoxoxoxo

A letter to myself Jun 2018

Dear Munirah,

Im not sure when will you read this again...but here I am wanted to tell how you have been thru so much. Achieved so much.

It might not all the dreams that you hope for. But it still a long way train of hope that u've been riding this whole time.

Going to matriks in Penang. The 1st one in family to go out, to live on your own. Going to usm, going to the university that you've hope before. To get in the accounting program which you really want to study at. Going to Canada, the country that was so far, at first you thought you can only dream of.  Meeting up new friends, meeting up the new adventurea. Believing on yourself. Believing that you can go thru this.

Graduate in the degree that you want. With the result that you want. Went to the company that you want. The big company that gives you the salary that you want. Tho I remember the stuff that happened in between. I remember the interview they asked about the eyes of mine. I remember crying all the way to home and until I have to tell myseld to go out and try again.

I remember the dreams I told. I remember how excited I was in my 1st big job. I remember to believe in myself. I remember the dreams that I can achieve.

I remember the 1st car. The blue one. I remember I put the dreams in my big drawing on the book. I remember that I put the model, the color of the car. I remember being so proud to drive it on.

Then the house. I remember how I want to buy my own house before I turn 30. I remember i
I want it so bad that I save huge amount of money in a bank. I remember trying so hard to do everything so that I can have the house before I turn 30.

Dear Munirah,

You achieved so much. You have gained so much.

Remember that.

Believe in yourself that you can do this again in 30years more of life.

Remember that all dreams can come true. That you are strong. You can get thru this. Remember that Munirah.

Xoxo

Fighting 💪💪💪

Tough love

231017

The day everything change. The day I finally understand. Of all the things unsaid and undone. I finally understand of the reasons of married and the companion. I finally understand that both of us dont like to say the things we want to say.

As I wonder if you are selfish ...for that reasons...i understand that I'm selfish to think about what should I get instead of what should I gives.

I just want to say I understand a lot of things now. And how I wish we sit and said everything eye to eye.

Dear Mum
Sorry for everything. And thank you for everything too. For you I learnt a lot about life.

 I'm sorry I couldnt give much. The only thing I could give u now is the quran and selawat.

May allah have mercy to you, me and all of us. Semoga mak tenang disana. May u rest. May u be happy.

From your daughter ~ Munie

Thirty three of lifes. Will I have another one?

Oh 33.. and December, here you come again :).. Cant believe how slow I'm blogging right now. Just say that my 2016 was full of hopes and some are crushed and then some are great one.

Cant believe by looking at the number. But now I'm just thankful I'm still here. Not sure if I have the time next year, next day or next month?

I've been thinking and I guess this is how you can motivate yourself. 

Think about the time you have left.

Will you have regret or will you be happy?

Can I have more stories? Can I have more happiness?

Dear life, dear Allah, guide me to the best place and guide me to be the best human being and of course, guide me to Jannah. :)

I'm not perfect but I'm learning to let it go. Learn and love. Be happy, Munirah. 

Be happy everyone :)

Xoxo..Writing in the diary today..2017=> Mekah, Amsterdam, Iceland, Rm100ribu dan kawin??? haah ;p Xox,

Munirah Khadri

Half year battle, half day moved on

Writing this om 17th July 2016.

Looking back at my life. Looking back at my age.

One of these days, or exactly 3 days ago, I spend most of the days sleeping or just wondering my thoughts. What am I doing right now? Am I doing the right thing?

Am I a good person? Am I doing the best that I should? Why I'm feeling lonely? Why I can't just say what I want? 

Why I need to pretend?

And I guess the same questions coming back to me again. Am I doing the right thing?

I wish someone can let me know. I wish I know how to live my life

I wish I know all the answers.

Like they said. Find a mentor. 

Of course, I've been thinking it so much. And the same questions come back to me. Am I doing rhe right thing?

Lonely. And they say talk to Allah. I know. And I know I'm not the best muslims out there. And I'm still trying. And the same questions come back to me. Why me? Why cant you just show me the way. What I'm supposed to do in my life right now?

I'm writing this post not because I want to admit my defeat. Or tired. I guess this was a phasing on time that I have. 

A lot of time I wonder. What I'm doing or whether it is a right thing to do. Most of the time I need to pretend to be happy, to be motivated and to be strong. And people expect you to. And I expect myself to be better.

I'm not sure if I can be 'better' to some person. But I do know I'm trying to be a better person to me. And so, dear Munirah. Please be happy. Please hang on..everything will be allright. Please be patient. Please let it go. Please be stronger. Please, I hope in year future when you read this whole thing, just realised you just finish one of the chapter of your own. 

#bestrong #behappy. And to everyone who struggle out there, #bestrong and #behappy too. 

Life will be better..

Xox ;)) ;))) ;)))

munirahkhadri